Don't You Wish It Was The Time Before The Bible?

The city blows off steam and so do I. If my mom was going to accuse me of being anti-semetic, I was going to give her a piece of my mind. Last night I went for that damn appointment with my mother's shrink. My mother as you know is training to be a Dominatrix. My mother wanted me to talk to her Rabbi, I went. My mother wanted me to go speak to her shrink, I went. That's it. I'm done, I'm finished. She can do whatever she wants.The truth of the matter is that I never blinked when the film crew came into the store yesterday, and asked me all kinds of questions about my mother learning the S&M Bondage trade.

This is what I said to them,"I'm a working stiff. I'm a Blue Collar worker and that's like saying I've got one foot in the grave. I only have my wit and my brawn to get me through the day. I have no other clout. The world around me pounds away. If I get killed in a steam bath, who can I go to to complain? If a terrorist picks on me today, I am a perfect target, I'm a white Jewish Male New Yorker,second Generation Holocaust survivor who lived in Israel. More than half this country hates me, let alone the rest of the world. I am a blip on the screen to the lowest common denominator. I know my position in life and I know that the only thing I can do for my family and whoever else wants to listen is teach them some survival skills... If it were the time before the bible, I could gather my apes and teach them to pick up sticks. It's too late for that. The bible is here and it has put me in my place... I have spent my life going from the sneer of contempt to the frivolous smile. And that is my revenge. What better way to live is there. I have something that some of the richest most powerful men on the planet wish I had, a serenity and acceptance to this mess, so I ask you if my mother wants to become a Dominatrix, that is her business.

The Director of the Reality t.v. that my mother was now a star on said,"Cut. We can't use any of that stuff he just said." His rubbery face got real close to me,"Listen, can you say something that shows concern for your mom. That's what the people want to hear about."
"The truth is no good?"
"Come on Larry, this is a reality show on t.v. Not a reality show in reality."
"O.K. I'm ready. Roll the tape."
The camera rolled.
I said, My mom is a Holocaust survivor, she lived in a hole for 18 months the size of a grave with the rest of her family; her mom, her Dad, a brother and a sister and then there were two other kids that didn't make it. If my mom, finds some release from pain from this world by becoming a Dominatrix, so be it. Maybe this will be the perfect job for her. She can punish men who punished her and they want to be punished because they know they're wrong."
"And Cut."

I guess I never got to the shrink appointment iin today's blog. It probably is too painful. I'll tell you what. I'll write it tonight after I take care of the kids. I promise. It'll be Saturday night and I'll leave a little present for you about my going to my mom's shrink to discuss her becoming a Dominatrix after you come home from going out. Isn't that what people still do? Go out and engage. Everyone out together. Fireworks and other steam pipes blew in that shrink's office. Now that was engaging

End of Part one