Funeral Parlors Are Fun

The Funeral Parlor became a drop off of junk for those who recently died. A drop off for those who dropped off. Manny charged 100 dollars a truck ,which was nothing. It can cost a thousand to throw your trash away at the dump.

"The landlord is going to kill you," I said. "You were supposed to empty the building not fill it to the gills. I need an umbrella. It's raining in here."

"This is why I didn't want to bring you here. You cry like a baby... Listen while you are here I'll sell you all the funeral stuff. You can buy all the coffins and all the equipment but you have to take it all.

I salivated. All of a sudden, I didn't give a shit about the uprising going on in the funeral parlor. I was going to make alot of money with these prized antiques. Why should I care about this three ring circus Manny was running... I got all the stuff out that day.

I had coffins lined outside my store. Every freak in New York was yammering and clawing and scratching outside my store looking to buy their own coffin. I was an instant star. Rock people, Dominatrixes, Vampires, Wall Street types. Everybody had to have a coffin from good ole Shecky Wreck.

The scream, and what a scream it was from one of the Dominatrixes put an end to the hupla.

The Police were summoned. They wanted me to explain the fresh corpse in the beautiful mahogany casket as well as the Mummified corpse in the very vintage one.

I knew I could not rat out Manny, though he had royally fucked me. I could have gotten 2 grand a piece for those caskets and God knows what I could have gotten for the Mummy on Coney Island. Now, the cops had them up for auction.

Let me just cut to the chase. The Funeral Parlor Director died from a heart attack when he saw what Manny did to his property. Manny wanted him to die. He found that Mummy and recognized him.

The Mummy was the partner of the Funeral Parlor Director who supposedly took off with a hundred thousand dollars and went to Central America twenty five years earlier. Well, it seems he just made it to the basement, ala Arsenic and old lace.

Manny said,"You done good kid. You didn't rat me out. Now I got the job to clean out the Funeral Parlor for real. Maybe we'll find the missing money. Wanna help?"

"Yeah sure. Listen, how did you recognize that mummy?"

"You think if you were a mummy that in twenty five years from now I wouldn't recognize you? It would just be a dried up you."

And that is a smidgen of Manny.