Rat On Brother!

Category: Pets and Animals

So, I've got a few rat stories. Rat stories are tricky. Rats are primitive animals which outnumber and have slaughtered half the population of the world on a few occassions. Still , they can be a hoot. Here's one for you.

I was living in my warehouse in Ridgewood. I had a nice shower . Somehow, when I got out of the shower I had no towel and no clothes. I can't remember how that could even happen, how did I enter the shower which was a good thousand square feet away from my room without a towel or at least boxers. I can't remember. What I do remember is running out of the shower and making a dash for my room. When I made the corner turn, there was the hugest beast, this guy was big and chomping at the bit. He wanted to eat my dick for sure.
I did not want him to eat my dick, so still dripping and maybe dripping instant sweat and pumped with adrenaline, I slowly backed up.I considered climbing a wall, the walls didn't reach the ceiling but then I'd have to jump quite a distance. Didn't want that broken leg. In the room I backed into, I had some vintage farm tools. I picked up the pitch fork and screamed my death charge. May the better animal win.
I whacked the shit out of this rat who must have either been sick or not understood what anybody could do to him with a pitchfork. He kind of took it in without much of a fight. Adrenaline was pumping, and so I smooshed him about fifty times. I flattened him flat. It was a situation like a guy with a knife. Once he starts stabbing, it may be fifty times before he stops.
Primitive situation. I got some clothes on and grabbed my flattened friend with the pitchfork. I walked him to the garbage can outside my warehouse. My landlord was looking at me strangely. Im a hairy guy who was just in boxers in the middle of winter. The rat too may have shocked him. He might not understand that the rat was flattened and he may think that his building has super rats. Then again, I was in an old neighborhood in New York and I had a pitchfork in my hands. Maybe the combination.